thundersnowstorm:

anyway since we’re all baking bread and dealing with a plague, here’s a quiz on who you would be in the middle ages

whencartoonsruletheworld:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

you know what? it’s been long enough i think we can admit that abc’s once upon a time was dumb as all shit and that’s why it fucks

the evil queen’s mom was the queen of hearts, and also the miller’s daughter from rumpelstiltskin. rumpelstiltskin is also the beast from beauty and the beast and peter pan’s son. his wife eloped with captain hook and his mom kidnapped his secondborn son with belle to use as a weapon against his daughter-in-law 

there were four rapunzels- one who only appeared in one episode and then was never mentioned again, and then three from the final season- one of whom was mother gothel in disguise (who is also a nymph and had a scene identical to the prom scene in carrie), one of whom was lady tremaine, and the final of whom was alice in wonderland, captain hook’s daughter

hades fell in love with the wicked witch of the west and also was that guy from ally mcbeal and we were supposed to take that 100% seriously 

maleficent got impregnated by a mystery man and laid an egg, out of which hatched a human baby. they went to find her dad and never showed up in the show again. we find out in the last episode that her dad was zorro and nothing else is mentioned of this 

the frozen characters were all there, completely based on canon with no alterations like everyone else got, and nobody questioned this. cruella de vil was also there and now is probably fighting with king arthur over custody of hell

mérida was there for like a season and a half and not once did she ever get a costume change. they were at a funeral and you can see her bright bluegreen dress just. there 

henry jumped on a lion in new york and gave a speech about how magic is real 

at the end they crowned the evil queen empress of everything just bc 

there was a musical episode

nothing in this show made sense and that’s why it’s fucking hilarious 

HENRY HAD A LOVE INTEREST FROM CAMELOT AND IN HER FINAL APPEARANCE SHE RETCONS HER BACKSTORY AND SAYS HER DAD WAS FROM EARTH AND WE FIND OUT HER DAD WAS THE CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT 

WHICH IS NOT ONLY THE FUNNIEST RETCON IN HISTORY (funnier by the fact he does have the right name, meaning that this was planned and they just forgot to drop any foreshadowing) BUT IF YOU FOLLOW BOOKCANON IT MEANS THAT HER BIRTH NAME IS HELLO-CENTRAL

LITTLE BO PEEP WAS A MOB BOSS

birthdaypigeon:

birthdaypigeon:

could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

bleachtrippin:

queencatradora:

queencatradora:

queencatradora:

i went to the dentist today and my dentist honest to god said “can i ask you a question…….what the hell is in your mouth”

it was in awe lmao

then the hygienist and assistant all came over to look too and they were like “wooooow” and my ass was sitting there like

oh my god i posted this and then went to work, and

story time

okay so to preface this, my hometown where i’m originally from is a really fucking weird place. like from the outside it seems like a normal suburban town, but once you’re there for awhile you get the feeling that’s something’s not…quite all together. a lot of people are really fucking weird there — so much so that that was a running joke in school growing up, that people in the town were just like that. everyone knew not to go out to the farm lands surrounding the town especially at night, we called it “the cuts” and people used to disappear out there all the time or get shot at by the especially weird people that would live out there. the news was and still is truly a thing of horror. every time i come back i’m regaled with even more stories of crazy shit that has happened there.

to put it in perspective we generally never had “normal crime” like robbery or anything like that when i lived there, though that did happen sometimes. the news stories were always like, “a kid was kidnapped by local residents and tortured in a house around the corner,” “a random person was chased down and shot for sport in a really nice neighborhood,” “someone was gored to death by a bull while out car shopping,” etc. (these are all real, btw). everyone does drugs and the whole town is located really close to a government site where they test nuclear weapons and chemicals and shit. this is how i grew up, in this bizarre environment.

i need to preface it this way so that you get that it’s weird. it’s a fucking weird place. i used to listen to the welcome to night vale podcast and make comparisons from it to my hometown, that’s how weird it is.

i only say this so you know that this town is where i got my orthodontics from.

all the kids in my town went to this one particular orthodontist. i also used to go to a dentist in town that a lot of people went to as well. i had a permanent retainer put on my bottom teeth after braces and no one had ever said anything to me about the model of retainer itself or it being weird type of retainer at all. i saw a ton of other people (mostly other kids that were my age at the time) that had the same type of retainer as me too so i never thought about it.

so i kept my retainer in — it’s never caused me problems and it keeps my teeth straight, why not?

however i went to a dentist for the first time in a metropolitan area now, and when he saw it in my mouth his literal first reaction was to say “uh can i ask you a question….what the hell is that”

LITERALLY the words that he said

which in hindsight makes almost too much sense. of course my town of all towns would put these weird unnecessary contraptions in kids’ mouths, and of course it happened so much that everyone just thought it was normal. that sounds exactly, to a T, like my hometown.

my permanent bottom retainer is apparently this prototype that is so rare that he’s literally never seen it before in his life, not in dental school, nowhere. it’s not that it’s an outdated type, it’s just rare as fuck. they were still staring at pictures of it on my chart in wonder when i left the office.

so just know somewhere out there, in a weird ass suburban town where they test nuclear weapons and a good portion of the residents go fucking nuts, there’s probably hundreds of people still walking around with this same contraption in their mouth that exists nowhere else in the world thinking, “yeah, that’s cool. that makes sense. let me go drink the definitely not-contaminated water now and never move away from here.”

This sounds like an X-files episode

linhzard:

im missing summer and them too

crumplelush:

i-h8-u-no-u-dont:

vexingcosmos:

titforatat:

imagine aaron’s horror when he realizes neil has technically seen him naked

Imagine Katelyn when she realizes she has technically seen Andrew naked

Imagine Andrew when he realises Katelyns technically seen him naked

Imagine Neil’s complete breakdown when he realises he’s technically seen Aaron naked